Schlimmer

Jede Mutter, 
die ihr Kind nicht liebt,
muss ja so tun.

Das macht es schlimmer für das Kind.

2010-05-18

Congratulations

Apparently friendly mysterious creature 
that thought I might in the meantime 
have become normal enough 
to attach importance to birthdays. 
And mine.

Disappointed there she realized that 
I hadn't become less unstable and 
nobody could treat me with enough 
circumspection except 
therapists.

I know she knows I mostly don't know 
what's real. I never realized but now 
seem to hear her saying the same things 
since years past and suddenly know
that I never liked it; 

but can't avoid accepting the chocolates 
nor seem to escape the casual embrace.

2011-10-19

Vor Angst suche ich nach Orten 
und Personen die Sicherheit versprechen
aber sie sind unzuverlässig
deshalb suche ich nach Verträgen
mit Institutionen
die gegen Bezahlung Sicherheit versprechen
aber die Angestellten weisen mich zurück
und je mehr sie über mich wissen
desto eher sind sie die Verbrecher
und die Verträge sind so teuer 
dass ich mit der Zeit auch alles verliere

2013-06-23

Sad

Her 
word was that she would come.
I might not have understood her correctly
but her
word was that she would come!
I didn't even know I was waiting
until I noticed I expected 
her every time
the door opened and a voice sounded,
every time not her's.
And when 
I had told myself already
that someone who hadn't come yet
wouldn't come,
I was still waiting,
so stupid,
days later
I'm still sad.

2009-04-07

The bright appraisers

On a hot day four men came into my house,
jeering at my new carpet in the hall, chucklingly
trampling up the rickety staircase, disdainfully 
walking over the great room, ticking off  "high 
ceilings which we don't need", boredly staring 
around the attic (later in their report declaring 
the entirely unexamined roofing beyond repair), 
not even bothering to enter my pretty room;
good-humoredly stepping out the front door, 
explaining they would, graciously, not subtract 
demolition cost from plot value because
that would leave me with a negative number, 
responding to my dumbfounded query whether 
they had, then, found the whole structure to be 
unsound with, amidst laughter, the hilarious 
statement that "we can't look into the walls!"

6. July / 1. November 2009