Grabbed

The man I confused with my father
made me do things
I thought of as girl experiments
only when he grabbed me
and talked all crazy
as though I had harmed him
and didn't let go
did I recognize
my enemy

2013-09-18

Mother's helper

I am as dumb as I am wise.
My wisdom was made 
to serve her,
my dumbness was made 
to hurt me.
She doesn't listen, 
nor do I change.
I exist to no purpose at all!
She quacks and quacks 
about her woes,
which serves her 
to make no change.
Me trying to save her 
serves me not at all,
and her as a background tune.

2010-03-01

Mother and son
Empathy
He is her to a degree
My enslavement do I see
Mummy calling endlessly
Notice, notice, notice me!
Along the generation-tree
She reflects her father on me 
The son is her's entirely
He needs her, she
Turns her back on 
Me

2006-11-24

The Waiting Trap

Waiting alone 
Wishing
Suspense       

I'm left alone waiting
Wishing for her to return	
She doesn't until later	
Wishing to make me wait, that is: 
Suffer
Sadist, I smell

Then there she is
Eyes glancing off 
Walking past

2005-12-02

A tornado of words
towering list of my offences 
approaches the house
dissipating but not finished 
until it strikes me over the head
on its last breath

2013-06-11

Töten und nicht Sterben

Ich will mich töten
Ich will nicht sterben
Ich will alle Menschen töten
Ich will nicht, dass alle Menschen sterben
Ich will alle Sadisten töten
Ich will, dass alle Sadisten sterben
Ich will mich töten

3. Januar 2014; 1.7.2016