Congratulations

Apparently friendly mysterious creature 
that thought I might in the meantime 
have become normal enough 
to attach importance to birthdays. 
And mine.

Disappointed there she realized that 
I hadn't become less unstable and 
nobody could treat me with enough 
circumspection except 
therapists.

I know she knows I mostly don't know 
what's real. I never realized but now 
seem to hear her saying the same things 
since years past and suddenly know
that I never liked it; 

but can't avoid accepting the chocolates 
nor seem to escape the casual embrace.

2011-10-19

The battery works

Her image in my head
goes away.
It persists in 
going away.
When it's there it's a battery.
Women, by their nature,
go away.
They seldom come
and stay but a short time.
Having tasted I hunger
for that battery.
The going away
makes me weaker than before.
The faces appear to be different each time,
still, the battery works.

2010-05-15

Vor Angst suche ich nach Orten 
und Personen die Sicherheit versprechen
aber sie sind unzuverlässig
deshalb suche ich nach Verträgen
mit Institutionen
die gegen Bezahlung Sicherheit versprechen
aber die Angestellten weisen mich zurück
und je mehr sie über mich wissen
desto eher sind sie die Verbrecher
und die Verträge sind so teuer 
dass ich mit der Zeit auch alles verliere

2013-06-23

A friend offers his help

When I spoke of my messy inheritance
my friend offered his help
which I gladly accepted.
And I did the planning, booking two rooms and
- most of all -
didn't ask anyone else, 
until, 
in the nick of time,
he told me, by the way,
that I couldn't demand 
that much work for no payment,
that I should have known that and,
after all,
I was inheriting, wasn't I?
And when I then most unpleasantly felt
forced to remind him 
of the lengthy favours I'd previously done him,
I found
that he'd hardly noticed 
any of those.

2008-12-06

Pay up

I'm expected to pay
I don't want to pay
I don't pay enough, feeling guilty
I pay, apparently freely
Disgusted with myself

2013-09-17