A friend offers his help

When I spoke of my messy inheritance
my friend offered his help
which I gladly accepted.
And I did the planning, booking two rooms and
- most of all -
didn't ask anyone else, 
until, 
in the nick of time,
he told me, by the way,
that I couldn't demand 
that much work for no payment,
that I should have known that and,
after all,
I was inheriting, wasn't I?
And when I then most unpleasantly felt
forced to remind him 
of the lengthy favours I'd previously done him,
I found
that he'd hardly noticed 
any of those.

2008-12-06

friend equals foe

I'm meeting with a friend
and thinking, greedily thinking: friend
having already lost myself in
thinking nothing but: friend.

Is then a friend a misfortune?
Yes.
I must, must focus
on recalling that I exist.

Opening the mailbox,
hoping to find it empty,
dismayed because it is empty,
scared that I may have been abandoned already.

2010-01-04

the drivelling dead

Two membraneous, stinking swamps 
pour their sweatings into me.
The level rises up and up,
I'm drowning in their voices.
Then suddenly I speak too loud,
reminded I 
exist.
And he and she 
live
burping bosh 
in me.

2007-11-05

Dissociation Instructions

Every situation is a situation
beginning with fear,
a contract: their expectation,
and someone trying to calm me.

It is normal to comply
while their demands grow unpleasant
the contract cannot be broken,
I'm leaving my body alone.

Can I not get away together?
A little no must be possible.
It is better to err on the no side.
The contract must be broken!

2008-05-07

Flucht vom Fest

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daraus schwallt 
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ich schlage meine Beine 
links- und rechtsherum übereinander
ich verstehe ihn gut
aber
die Stille war mir willkommener
ich gehe

			Juni 97