Sehversuche | Trying to see
2016
2014
Ein von anderen bewohntes Haus
2013
A hard time at the ticket office
Motorcycle noise in desolate China
Meine Mutter war eine Terroristin
2012
Freund, schmutziges Wort
Fighting the knot prose
From on high prose
2011
Mutters Antwort prosa
Frösche und Wasser prosa
2010
ABC des Nasenwahns prosa
2009
Ich treffe den Wiedergaenger wieder audio: Ich treffe den Wiedergaenger wieder
Schwieriger Verkauf einer Immobilie
The bright appraisers audio: The bright appraisers
2008
Großvater Paradoxon audio: Großvater Paradoxon
Harte Arbeit audio: Harte Arbeit
Feueropfer mit Führer audio: Feueropfer mit Führer
Dissociation Instructions audio: Dissociation Instructions
Weil ihr mich nicht hört, spreche ich leise audio: Weil ihr mich nicht hört, spreche ich leise
The black receiver in my grandfather's house audio: The black receiver in my grandfather's house
A child works perfectly as a mirror of lust
How can I get rid of the juice? audio: How can I get rid of the juice?
2007
Grandmother, mother and I audio: Grandmother, mother and I
The drivelling dead audio: The drivelling dead
Die Löschung audio: Die Löschung
Voyage to the moon in three parts
The lying fly audio: The lying fly
2006 - 2005
Mother and son audio: Mother and son
Betrayer, my opposite number audio: Betrayer, my opposite number
Die ungeahnte Schwierigkeit sprechen zu lernen
Nightmare instructions audio: Nightmare instructions
2003 -2000
Das Außerirdische tötet prosa
Eine Blumentopfbesatzung trifft auf Mars den .... sprechenden Bären prosa
kellnerinnen prosa
der rennleiter erkrankt prosa
1999
Stop moving and I will consider you dead prose
weichtiere auf der rennbahn prosa
Die Bewegung von Ich zu Ich ist unmöglich
Identitäten audio: Identitäten
1998
Hure identifiziert audio: Hure identifiziert
1997 - 95
der Stachel audio: der Stachel
Männer und Enten prosa
The repetition hurts As evening comes, the storm breaks once, twice and again. And the rain comes down and the rain comes down. The roof is leaking, unfixed for years because they tell me I shouldn't. Sewage is entering the cellar walls, the floor getting wetter, the walls blacker, with mould. As evening comes, mother drinks once, twice and again, raving, yelling, cursing men and father locks his study door while I entreat her: please calm down, once, twice and again. As evening comes, grandfather comes once, twice and again. That funny jester-terrorist, opens his zipper, shows me his, shoots his shot to wet my face, once, twice and again. As morning comes, grandmother smiles once, twice and again. She says: You're only imagining things. Says: the child is in his egotist phase, spiteful crazy little squaller, selfish and spoilt by his stupid parents. 2010-03-26 German version: Die Wiederholung tut weh |
The lying Fly A lie, a lie is like a fly buzzing around my head, it sits on me, it stares at me, I recognize it not, yet feel a deep necessity to swat it and be rid, but flying lies are nebulae, so near and yet so far, they cannot just be brutalized, but must be understood: a lie, a lie is like a web as smooth as possible as near to truth, as traitorous convincing, pious, safe. I cannot even help myself, it stabs my back, it paints me black, I must believe in it. Today I kill whatever fly dares to sit on me pursuing it relentlessly throughout the living room. A living lie will never die, the fly, the fly is me. 2007-05-16 |
Congratulations Apparently friendly mysterious creature that thought I might in the meantime have become normal enough to attach importance to birthdays. And mine. Disappointed there she realized that I hadn't become less unstable and nobody could treat me with enough circumspection except therapists. I know she knows I mostly don't know what's real. I never realized but now seem to hear her saying the same things since years past and suddenly know that I never liked it; but can't avoid accepting the chocolates nor seem to escape the casual embrace. 2011-10-19 |
good god not good, god isn't, belief isn't to be believed just is, or isn't |
© Anthony Thwaites