No!

No, no, I cannot say no, 
no, you will go
if I say no. 
No, no, no,
please don't leave me, no,
I won't ever say no
any more.
I will do as you say,
HATE you, too, every day
because you
make me do
what I don't want to do!  
I know you don't know 
that I want to say no
'cause I cannot say no,
'cause I don't even know 
that I want to say no,
'cause you'll send me away
if I dare. 

2008-02-18, revised 2010-09-07

friend equals foe

I'm meeting with a friend
and thinking, greedily thinking: friend
having already lost myself in
thinking nothing but: friend.

Is then a friend a misfortune?
Yes.
I must, must focus
on recalling that I exist.

Opening the mailbox,
hoping to find it empty,
dismayed because it is empty,
scared that I may have been abandoned already.

2010-01-04

Sad

Her 
word was that she would come.
I might not have understood her correctly
but her
word was that she would come!
I didn't even know I was waiting
until I noticed I expected 
her every time
the door opened and a voice sounded,
every time not her's.
And when 
I had told myself already
that someone who hadn't come yet
wouldn't come,
I was still waiting,
so stupid,
days later
I'm still sad.

2009-04-07

Schweinerei

Es fragt nicht, es trügt gern,
es dankt nicht, es frisst gern,
es liebt meine Dinge, 
nimmt sie mir ab.
Hinter mir, vor mir
kommt's aus dem Strauch,
unerkannt, sichtbar,
schnüffelt - schnauft,
verwirrt mich, ich weiß nicht.
Sein Grunzen verklingt.
Nackt bin ich, 
und schäm' mich.

2010-07-29

blub
da liegt es
braun in rotem Tümpel
meine Leibspeise und mein Lebenssaft
fortgespült und
drei Tropfen
hängen noch am Rand des Klosettbeckens
oh je
ich glaube, ich muß sterben

1998-05-10