Grabbed

The man I confused with my father
made me do things
I thought of as girl experiments
only when he grabbed me
and talked all crazy
as though I had harmed him
and didn't let go
did I recognize
my enemy

2013-09-18

Women and dogs

I love her, she loves me
She is angry at me for loving me
I'm angry at her for not loving me
I get a dog
It acts as though it loved me
I love the dog
The dog is me 
I don't love me
I have no control over the dog
Nosing around it thinks only of itself
It is using me!
I make it obey but
a slave cannot love me
I get rid of the dog
She doesn't love me

2012-06-14

Deutsche Version: Frau und Hund

Denial

Preoccupied with genitalia
Full of dirty urges
The egotist child must be restrained 
Said my psychologist grandmother 
It wants to have sex with it's mother
It's explorations extend
Even to the regular sucking of grandfather's penis
Later attacks of disgust
Unrelated to what DIDN'T HAPPEN
Only indicate GOOD discipline imposed 
Says the surviving avatar
Of that goddess

2006-10-05

friend equals foe

I'm meeting with a friend
and thinking, greedily thinking: friend
having already lost myself in
thinking nothing but: friend.

Is then a friend a misfortune?
Yes.
I must, must focus
on recalling that I exist.

Opening the mailbox,
hoping to find it empty,
dismayed because it is empty,
scared that I may have been abandoned already.

2010-01-04

The battery works

Her image in my head
goes away.
It persists in 
going away.
When it's there it's a battery.
Women, by their nature,
go away.
They seldom come
and stay but a short time.
Having tasted I hunger
for that battery.
The going away
makes me weaker than before.
The faces appear to be different each time,
still, the battery works.

2010-05-15