Congratulations

Apparently friendly mysterious creature 
that thought I might in the meantime 
have become normal enough 
to attach importance to birthdays. 
And mine.

Disappointed there she realized that 
I hadn't become less unstable and 
nobody could treat me with enough 
circumspection except 
therapists.

I know she knows I mostly don't know 
what's real. I never realized but now 
seem to hear her saying the same things 
since years past and suddenly know
that I never liked it; 

but can't avoid accepting the chocolates 
nor seem to escape the casual embrace.

2011-10-19

Töten und nicht Sterben

Ich will mich töten
Ich will nicht sterben
Ich will alle Menschen töten
Ich will nicht, dass alle Menschen sterben
Ich will alle Sadisten töten
Ich will, dass alle Sadisten sterben
Ich will mich töten

3. Januar 2014; 1.7.2016

Kein Platz. Zu spät

Ersehne 
Einen Platz 
Im Kreis meiner Lieben
Gehe
Auf der Suche nach einem Stuhl
In der Nacht um das Haus
Sehe 
Sie durch ein Loch in der Mauer
Im Licht ohne mich leben
Fürchte 
Ihre Vorwürfe

Ich komme zu spät

2013-10-04

A tornado of words
towering list of my offences 
approaches the house
dissipating but not finished 
until it strikes me over the head
on its last breath

2013-06-11

Politics on a small scale

She grabs and cuts and loves to slash 
with glee and rash, 
acts most offended when apprehended. 
Whoever stops her is subliminally called 
a criminal.
Withdrawing tactically threatening to resign 
she's showering a deceptive weakening 
hope 
on some 
while feeding fear of loss in everyone,
as she is sorely needed: a perpetual guard 
against the evil-minded unknown 
hordes. 

2008-10-21

good god

not good, god isn't, 
belief isn't to be believed
just is, or isn't